Funny Short Jokes For This Sunny Day (so dont be so stress guys)


Celebrity jokes – 50 cent in Canada

Q: What is 50 cent called when he’s in Canada?

A: 58 cent

 

Good jokes-Lions

Two blokes are drinking in a bar.

One says, ” Did you know that Lions have sex 10 to 15 times a night?”

“BUGGER !” says his friend. “And I just joined Rotary…..”

 

Short funny jokes-Forgery

My Grandad was a fake blacksmith you know.

He worked in a forgery!

 

Hilarious jokes-Fail

 King Jung Nam, the brother of North Korean leader Kim Jung Un, said that as a leader his younger brother will fail. When he heard this, Kim Jung Un was so upset at his older brother, he yelled, ‘I’m telling Kim Jung Mom.’

Superhero jokes-Public transportation

Q: What superhero uses public transportation?

A: Bus Lightyear!

 

Hilarious political jokes-Best decision

Senator John McCain told Sean Hannity that choosing Sarah Palin was still the best decision he ever made. Well, today the Arizona DMV took away his driver’s license.

 

Short funny jokes-Around the world

Did you hear about the idiot who walked around the world?

He drowned.

 

Clean jokes-Smart phone

Facebook is supposedly developing a new smart phone. If it’s really smart it won’t be letting it’s users spend so much time on Facebook.

 

Short funny jokes-Timeline

Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg apparently went hunting, killed a bison, nicknamed it “Billy,” then mounted its head on a wall. Yeah, then Zuckerberg was like, “Anyone else want to complain about the new Facebook Timeline?”
-Jimmy Fallon

 

Hilarious jokes-Queen Elizabeth

A dead body was discovered last week on the grounds of a country estate owned by Queen Elizabeth.

When she was told about it she was alarmed and asked, “It wasn’t me was it?”

 

Obama jokes-Endorsement

“Fidel Castro declared that a robot would do a better job as president than Barack Obama. After hearing this, Mitt Romney thanked Castro for his endorsement.”

 

Short funny jokes-Without robbing

What’s the difference between Batman and a robber?

A: Batman can go into a store without robin!!

 

Funny jokes-Blanket

A guy’s going on a business trip and he has to take his secretary with him, and she’s really crazy about him. The first night on the Amtrak, she’s in the top bunk and he’s in the bottom bunk. She says, “Mr. Forsythe! Mr. Forsythe! I’m chilly! I think I need a blanket!”

He says, “Miss Schmitt, how’d you like to pretend you’re Mrs. Forsythe for a little while?

She says, “Oh, I’d like that.”

He says, “Then get you own damn blanket.”

 

 

 

 

 

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